At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
