note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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