So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
No subtext here. People are naked.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
