I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
