Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
