My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
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