You made me cry and you don't even care
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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