I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Randomize
