Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
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