dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
