if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Randomize
