also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
