so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
