there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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