She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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