we have pet lesbian snakes
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Do vagina's smell?
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
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