sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
