it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
