he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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