I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
If that was your dad, he is hot
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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