I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
