i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
