Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
handjob tips. give me some.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Randomize
