Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
