I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
