i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Enjoy the penises
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
