i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
it hurts more in the daytime
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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