I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I need water and some morals
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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