I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
