mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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