At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Randomize
