sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
