Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
