I love black thongs
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
