yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Can you repeat that, but with context?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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