i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Randomize
