You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
