Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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