You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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