Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
