you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Don't tell me you're on acid again
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I did not marry a roomba.
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