Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Can't talk, ducks in the car
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