Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Randomize
