whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
