lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Randomize
