"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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