just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
