Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
