My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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