I think I died a long time ago.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
